I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
