your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
