I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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