I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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