Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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