are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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