I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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