Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
