What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
