what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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