What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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