Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
