if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize