he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize