my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
be right there i have to get my cape
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
