i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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