Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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