Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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