what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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