And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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