u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize