y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
