tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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