Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
birth control should be required to get into college
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can I color on your dick again?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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