My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
