with your own penis?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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