And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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