she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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