Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
