best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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