He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
