My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
