You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
