I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
this will be a night to untag.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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