I want to make a zoo with you.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
