all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
