I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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