Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
