The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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