sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
