It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
