peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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