I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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