My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
