these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dicks are not precious.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
