There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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