he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
