I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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