i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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