Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
