If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
