Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
