my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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