i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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