Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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