Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
