STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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