At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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